samedi 25 février 2012

Wade-Mugabe: Dialogue of octogenarians *

 
Robert M., 88 years from February 21, and Abdoulaye W., 86 years old next May, cling to their thrones. Dialogue designed by Damien Glez ...and published in Slate Afrique do 23 february 2012.
        
When one octogenarian President encounters an octogenarian President, what do they tell?

Stories of presidents octogenarians:

Abdoulaye: Happy birthday big brother!

Robert (surprised): "Big Brother"?! Is there still "big brother" and "little brother" after 85 years?

Abdoulaye: Of course! I am young and strong! Not even 86 years on the clock!

Robert: 88 or 86, you talk about a difference!

Abdoulaye: A big difference, Dad!

Robert (aghast): You call me "daddy" now? You mean we are not of the same generation?

Abdoulaye: When you were age cross the ferry, I had just had my BEPC ...

Robert (annoyed): Hey, I see you coming with your business degree yet ... You'll say you're the most qualified of all graduates from Africa. We know the drill ...

Abdoulaye: Do not be angry, uncle!

Robert (mumbles): Anyway, I still have hair ...

Abdoulaye: Pardon?

Robert: I said nothing ...

Abdoulaye: I see that you're fit as a fiddle, Bob. But I respect the right of primogeniture. Not like those little rude "Y is tired" Y is tired of "Y's sick!"

Robert (annoyed): Well, me at least, I do not have demos under my window ...

Abdoulaye (annoyed): Well, me at least, I have not sold off the government to my opponent.

Robert (pouting): Grrmmmlllll ...

Abdoulaye: And do not worry about the breeze Dakar. The polls will be talking at once. I will be re-elected in the first round, no later than Sunday! A point, a line!

Robert (excited): Yes! Democracy, there is no such thing! Myself, I will hold elections this year.

Abdoulaye (surprised): And Tsvangirai? Your 2008 agreement stipulates that there will be no elections before 2013. Not until the establishment of a new constitution ...

Robert: It's weird though: you, we blame you for amending your constitution twice and I used to blame myself for not changing it.

Abdoulaye: People do not know what they want ...

Robert: As for Tsvangirai, my "a-sick-Yen" for me, I'll take it short. To make sure a ballot measure, I have already suspended 29 NGOs such as Care International, Zimbabwe Peace Project, Zimbabwe Community Development Program ... We will not be dictated by our policy outside!

Abdoulaye: Wallaye! This is the second gaou is niata oh.

Robert (surprised): "Gaou"? What is this?

Abdoulaye: Oh that's right, you do not know this expression in Harare. I mean we should not be stuffing turkeys geopolitics. Europeans no longer have to meddle in our elections.

Robert: Right! Me, it was the British who éreintent me. And yet this is not their head of state who is 60 years of rule? Eh? This is not Elizabeth II who is 86 years? Does it has been seen before in an election, that one? Pfffff ...

Abdoulaye: I, it is France who is looking for lice on my head shaved. You did not hear the French Minister of Foreign Affairs? He wants to organize a "passing of generations" in Senegal! And blah blah blah and blah, blah, blah. He does not know that Françafrique is dead and buried?!

Robert: It suits him not to know. This is not the same French who say the best soups are made in the old pots?

Abdoulaye (laughing): Well, we, we're good casserole!
Robert: Yes, I heard that Senegal is like a pressure cooker ...

Abdoulaye: Alain Juppe, he forgets one thing: the Paris-Dakar is on another continent now.

Rober
t: That's the problem!

Abdoulaye: What? Rally car racing?

Robert: No. Whites! As Roy Bennett, Elizabeth II, David Cameron, Alain Juppe ...

Abdoulaye (annoyed): Uh ... I do not know if we can say it like that, big brother ...

Robert
(sorry): Oops! I forgot that to your wife ... clear skin. This is depigmentation or "birth"?

Abdoulaye (grumpy): Grrrrrrr ...

Robert: I rigooole ... She's fine, your Viviane?

Abdoulaye: In great shape. Normal: she's only 80 years. She struggles to her son has the power.

Robert (surprised): His son?!

Abdoulaye: Oops! Sorry, this is a slip. "Her husband", I meant.

Robert: You're in luck. My wife Sarah Francesca-rest his soul-I do not argue with equal fervor ... She even played dirty tricks ...

Abdoulaye: My better half, she, she is dedicated and courageous. Unfortunately, it is paid in funny money. She had to turn back on reaching Nguéniène, when she wanted to attend my meeting. She could not stand the host indlicat indelicate few thugs!

Robert: What a ingratitude! We heckle, we, the freedom fighters! We who bends the apartheid regime of Rhodesian Front!

Abdoulaye: We who bends hegemonic regime of the Socialist Party!

Robert: They should welcome us in meetings with his arms full of gifts! (Short pause) About gift, what you brought me for my birthday?

Abdoulaye (proudly): An urn with double bottom!

Robert: Well done, brother!
 As for luck in the next election, Mr. Robert embraces the skull Abdoulaye W.
______________________________________
        
         *
Damien Glez, Franco-Burkinabe was born in 1967. He is designer-editor for 20 years, author of the comic strip "Divine Comedy". He is also managing editor of the satirical weekly Le Journal du Jeudi.
        
He is an active member of the association Cartooning for Peace founded by Plantu.
        
His drawings and cartoons have been published in over 40 international journals, in books (Plon, Retz (Havas), Larousse-Bordas, Uitgeverij Pelckmans, Editions de la Martiniere, Editions writers, Editions Magnard Publishing da Rocha ... ).
        
His drawings are regularly published in Vita Non Profit Magazine (Italy), The Journal of Thursday (Burkina Faso), afronline.org (Italy), World Policy Journal (USA), The Africa report (Africa), Courrier International (France ), Our Afrik (Belgium), Radio Netherlands Worldwide (Netherlands), Jeune Afrique, Africa magazine, Slate.fr (USA), Mediapart (France) and broadcast on TV (TV5, RTB).
        
His drawings have been exhibited in France, Europe, Canada and Africa.

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